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manub

Nos amis du Support de PokerStars

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Manub, j'ai les mêmes initiales que toi et c'est toujours le pauvre Randy qui répond. Je crois qu'il va saigner du nez lui aussi.

Hello, I love poker but I love girls too.

Actually I have no girlfriend and I would like to know if poker can teach me how to make me friends and girlfriends. One time I noticed a girl who seemed to be interested by me. She talked to me on several occasions in the chat, calling me her "dear little donkey". I would like that you give me her phone number please, and that would be even more great if you could call her yourself because I have never done that before.

Regards,

M.B.

Réponse :

Hello Mathieu,

Thank you for contacting PokerStars.

As you have already noticed, player poker is a great way to meet a diverse

group of people, and at PokerStars our chat interface allows this to be

acheived very easily.

Unfortunately, we cannot give out any information about other players, but

you are welcome to make other contact arrangements with this person the

next time you see them on the tables.

Good luck to you, and thank you for choosing PokerStars.

Regards,

Randy

PokerStars Support Team

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envoyé à l'instant, histoire d'en remettre une petite couche :

-----------------------------------------------

Dear support,

I have a few important questions :

- I lost 2 coin flips today. I checked in my books, and I have 50% to win. I

flipped 2 coins irl to try, and won once (proof !), so how can I lose 2 in a row !!?! bug ?

- Last time, I check on the turn, I bet on the river, and obviously, I lose

again, rigged ??

- can I have chips, please ?

- if not, are you married ?

- I have flush lol, why is poker ?

Please serious answers only..

JB

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Pour ceux qui aime et avoir des idées :

Letters from a Nut

C'est un compilation de lettres envoyées par Seinfeld a différents services clients de boite.... avec leur réponse.

Je vous invite à corriger et à envoyer celle là que je viens de faire :

-------------

First of all, i would like to say that i love Pokerstars so much. I wear pokerstars shirt, i sleep in a Pokerstars pyjama of my own, i play with pokerstars cards with my friends and i even printed the pokerstars logo on many of my underwears.

The problem is that last week i wanted to tatoo the logo "pokerstars" on my shoulder. It's a friend of my cousin who made it (you can't imagine how good this guy is ! He has already tatooed the face of Madonna on my leg... Yes Madonna is the other passion of my life ! If you don't know her you should definitly listen to her music).

Anyway, yesterday, my cousin finished the tatoo but he made ONE BIG mistake : he wrote "Pokestars" instead of "Pokerstars." Yes you're right, this moron forgot the R !

As i guess you know, you can't delete a tatoo that's why i ask you for a BIG favor :

Can you change the name of your society to "Pokestars" so i won't be ridiculous my whole life ?

Thanks so much in advance.

--------

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Dear support,

I have a few important questions :

- I lost 2 coin flips today. I checked in my books, and I have 50% to win. I flipped 2 coins irl to try, and won once (proof !), so how can I lose 2 in a row !!?! bug ?

- Last time, I check on the turn, I bet on the river, and obviously, I lose

again, rigged ??

- can I have chips, please ?

- if not, are you married ?

- I have flush lol, why is poker ?

Please serious answers only..

JB

Hello Jean-Baptiste,

If you flipped a coin 100,000 times, you would expect to find somewhere

areound 50,000 each of heads and tails. But along the way, you will

undoubtedly find streaks where heads came up 10 times in a row, or tails

came up 13 out of 15. If you looked at just those streaks, or in your

example those two hands, you could come to the conclusion that the coin

was unfair.

But that would be an incorrect conclusion, based on "sampling bias". In

the same way you are using a small sample of hands and then using that

sample as proof which is clearly not correct. Randomness does not work on

a schedule -- streaks such as these must happen otherwise it would be

proof of an unfair deal.

Due to statements in our licence agreement which prohibit us from

issuing credit to players, we cannot credit you with chips (I am

married).

I am going to "assume" that the majority of your email was in jest or

bourne from frustration of a few bad beats. If you would like for us to

go into more detail about our shuffle or site integrity please let us

know. If you want to read a little bit about it yourself please review:

http://www.pokerstars.com/poker/rng/

http://www.pokerstars.com/poker/room/features/security/

Best Regards,

Ellis

PokerStars Support Team

pas très drole lui ;)

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A mon avis ils ont comme consigne de répondre à tous les messages, et puis y'a aussi des gars comme Randy qui préfére sûrement répondre à ce type de message qu'aux habituels "j'ai perdu mon mot de passe, mon paiement n'arrive pas..."

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C'est bien une boite anglosaxone, the customer's always right. Mais bon je suis sur que Randy doit se marrer et même vérifier fievreusement ses mails en espérant un mail de manub. Si l'inspiration me vient je m'y met aussi, de toute manière Pierre Salviac passe plus à la télé alors ca a reduit mon quota de mail de ce genre.

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Pour ceux qui aime et avoir des idées :

Letters from a Nut

C'est un compilation de lettres envoyées par Seinfeld a différents services clients de boite.... avec leur réponse.

Je vous invite à corriger et à envoyer celle là que je viens de faire :

-------------

First of all, i would like to say that i love Pokerstars so much. I wear pokerstars shirt, i sleep in a Pokerstars pyjama of my own, i play with pokerstars cards with my friends and i even printed the pokerstars logo on many of my underwears.

The problem is that last week i wanted to tatoo the logo "pokerstars" on my shoulder. It's a friend of my cousin who made it (you can't imagine how good this guy is ! He has already tatooed the face of Madonna on my leg... Yes Madonna is the other passion of my life ! If you don't know her you should definitly listen to her music).

Anyway, yesterday, my cousin finished the tatoo but he made ONE BIG mistake : he wrote "Pokestars" instead of "Pokerstars." Yes you're right, this moron forgot the R !

As i guess you know, you can't delete a tatoo that's why i ask you for a BIG favor :

Can you change the name of your society to "Pokestars" so i won't be ridiculous my whole life ?

Thanks so much in advance.

--------

Celui là est quand meme aussi excellent :lol::lol:

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Sur cette annonce de Namroth, les troupes israéliennes quittent ce matin même le Liban et le cours de Pokerstars chute de 28,7%.

8)

J'espère que ma remarque n'a pas été mal interprétée, c'est juste que j'aime encore savoir où sont placé mes capitaux, et de ce fait j'évite tout pays non démocratique ou oppresseur ; n'y voyez donc nul antisémitisme (ma femme est ashkénaze, ça serait difficile :) )

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moi j ai demandé si il pouvait pas mettre des tables avec un bouton "bet in the dark". Ils m'ont repondu que ca compliquerait la lisibilité de la table et que ca allait embrouiller leurs joueurs. ..

Aidez moi dans ma requete, demande leur la meme chose, ca va rajouter une tonne d action aux tables!

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Excellent manub, bon délire...

Je viens de leur envoyer ça.

Hello,

I registered to your site a few time ago and I've just won my first play !

But I see no girl taking off her clothes. What's going on ? Where's the girl section ?

Thanks

dilb

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La réponse :

Quels sacrés pince-sans-rire au support de PS !! J'ai pas eu droit à Randy...snif.

Hello Clement,

Thank you for your email. You may be confusing us with another site, we're

a poker site only. Tehre are no girls taking their clothes off to be found

on our site.

If you have any further questions please don't hesitate to get back in

touch with us.

Regards,

ScottW

PokerStars Support Team

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celle-ci est en cours mais présente des effets dérivés inatendus...

Acte I - la plainte

PS account : Abellyus

--------------------------------

That's 9 days I did not win a single coinflip. But I auto win any crazy hands when 3 or more other players decide to all call my all-in with low pair. OK, that sounds great and, on some other rooms where I play, it'd be greatly appreciated. But, indeed, even if I can see some advantages in going all-in an not have to wait two hours for that 5th street card to bust me out, every good joke has to come to an end. Sooner or later. Maybe it's "later" enough ?

let me add that :

- Lee is the greatest man on earth. I'd never say it enough. I'll say it 10 times an hour if he asks so, np, he deserves it. I'm even ready to have it tatooed

- I never f***ed his wife. tilou4un lied when he said so. I swear.

- If you need a new french player for lee's curse, may I suggest Albatros15. That guy made some bad jokes about my unlucky streak. He also said some very very very nasty words about our beloved lee. And It's a secret to one he claimed many times he f***ed lee's wife. Daughter. And dog...

so that, now, you can't decently object to fix that. Please switch back my options to "win coinflip : 80%" as it was before, even if the price is to not win anymore these family all-in pots with pp7 vs 4 missed. I know everythin has a price, i'm ok to pay.

My best regards to lee,

Thierry

Acte II - la réponse... inattendue :(

Hello Thierry,

Thank you for your email. I appreciate you allowing us to address your

concerns. As a poker player I can appreciate how the game can make you feel, but I can assure you that our shuffle is entirely random. The

integrity of our games is the basis on which the entire livelihood of

PokerStars depends. There is no win/lose switch nor can we set up the

system to ensure you win your races.

[je passe le baratin habituel]

As we cannot monitor every table 24 hours, we are glad to have players as our "eyes and ears".

After review of the chat log, we have decided to remove this player's

chat privileges. Their language was totally inappropriate and abusive

to others. Our games are to be kept clean, fun, and a comfortable

environment for everyone. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior at

our tables.

I will be sure to pass your comments to Lee on so he may read them.

If you have further questions about this, please don't hesitate to

contact us.

Regards,

Trent

PokerStars Support Team

Acte III - je demande à parler à randy où tout autre être humain doté d'humour mais ça insiste

Hello Thierry,

I believe I understood your statements completely. You stated "Please

switch back my options to "win coinflip : 80%" as it was before" implying

we can control how much you win. As I stated we do not control the

shuffle nor is their a switch to help your account win. Poker is poker

and luck is part of the game.

Randy is still employed here but there is no reason to bother him with

this email as he has many things to work on himself.

You also made some comments that players were using inappropriate chat which I reviewed and handled appropriately according to our policies.

Now if you don't understand what I am saying please resend your email

explaining exactly what you are trying to say.

Regards,

Trent

PokerStars Support Team

Acte IV - on tente un dernier arrachage...

no offense ;)

just... randy showed great sense of humour in answering to some funny

requests ppl sent to ps support. This time, seems I missed ;)

so, to be serious : I never complained about any chat abuse (in my last

email, I did it from time to time). And can not even think I'd do it about

Albatros15. That guy is cream. I could live without ever winnin a single coinflip (I'M NOT SURE OR SERIOUS ABOUT THAT!) but seeing fair players pay for a joke is a plain non-sens. I you need to chan-ban players, I'll send you a full listing. Even i that implies I read chan, no problem ;)

Ah! and I just realize how irrationnal my request to control my coinflip win ratio was. 80% is way to much, have to agree. 75% as in july would be way more fair. Thanks a lot.

regards,

T.T.

Acte V - j'arrive à sauver l'innocent condamné à tort ? Je retrouve mes 75%? wait and see...

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pas mal pas mal, dommage que tous ne sont pas dotés d'un sens d'humour. Qu'est ce qu'il a du s'amuser le mec en te redigeant une reponse "comme le code de la boite le veut".

Dis lui qu'il est chiant :lol:

Et sinon 75% c'est toujours un peu trop, ils acceptent presque jamais >65%... un petit truc, mais il faut savoir... :)

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Je viens d'envoyer ca :

"Hi !

I have a problem with pokerstars and peanuts.

Let me explain : while playing poker, I eat peanuts ... many peanuts.

That's months now I am eating peanuts and I took 77 pounds

in just 5 months ! In fact I was already overweight by 50 or so when my

wife left me.

But I love pokerstars & peanuts ! I would get bored eating peanuts without

playing poker, and they feel like little salty and greasy chips in my hand =

an incredible poker experience !

My question : Could you propose peanuts in the pokerstars store ?

Thanks in advance !

"

Je vous dirais la réponse

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Il y avait un thread sur 2+2 dans la meme veine, avec en plus le comparatif avec party:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat...&an=&page=&vc=1

-----------------------------------------------

Pokerstars Support just rules......

I sent them an email thanking them for all my pocket aces i've recently gotten. The email was in a joking manner. They sent this back.

I see that over the past 3 days you've had pocket Aces 17 times out of

a total of 2,309 hands.

As you probably know, you expect to get dealt Aces once every 220 hands, so

we'd expect Aces about 10/11 times in that sample. You've certainly been

lucky with Aces over the past couple of days, but probability doesn't work

on a schedule - I'm sure you'll have had (and will have) a few 2,000-hand

runs seeing Aces only once or twice.

Please let us know any time we can be of further assistance.

Regards,

Steve C

PokerStars Support Team

-----------------------------------------------

WOW! I just sent Party Poker Support an identical email. Here is the reply:

Dear Sucker,

PartyPoker.com uses a secure RNG (SHA-1 cryptographic hash algorithm) implemented by SUN which is cryptographically certified.

And of course there is the Monster! Monster prizepools and Monster jackpots! Don’t miss your opportunity for a Monster payday. Click here for Monster details.

If you have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to ask.

Kind Regards

Viramadadaish

PartyPoker Customer Care

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